A post on our next step regarding infertility:
Doug and I have been struggling for almost three years. More than a year ago I came out with our infertility to family and friends. I explained that we had Unexplained Infertility, which means that we went through the tests and we waited for the results only to hear “we can’t find a problem, everything looks good”. Many people hope to hear good news when a doctor runs some tests, but in cases like this we were looking for answers, something that was definitive and something we could fix. The statistics are that with our diagnoses, we had a 1-3% chance of conceiving naturally. These statistics crushed us and put some strain on our marriage, as it would to any couple dealing with this.
It’s been a while since I’ve given a detailed post regarding our next step. There are a few routes we could take, but financially we only had two options, and honestly only one that we could move on to if we wanted to begin now: IUI. I did some research, contacted the insurance company, and viewed the breakdowns of costs. Doug and I didn’t talk extensively about a timeline, but we were pretty sure this was our next step.
However, things have changed. It looks as if IUI/IVF is not in our immediate future. This is because on April 15th our lives changed…
We are happy to announce that we are expecting Baby Whitney in December of 2016!
After almost 3 years of wanting to say those words, it is finally the time! I started by telling you a recap of the life of infertility before the good news because I wanted to remind people that the hurting never goes away, the fact that this is coming 3 years later shouldn’t diminish our hurt and struggle. Infertility hurt and will always hurt. I wanted to be cognizant of those struggling. I wanted to be respectful to those that will see this and it will hurt their soul, it will remind them that they are unable to become pregnant. I wanted to channel how I felt each time I saw a birth announcement, got a baby shower invite, or see the day to day updates from mothers and fathers and grandparents on my Facebook. Those struggling, you are not alone and I have been there. Therefore, here is a trigger warning to the rest of the post where I discuss how we found out.
Here is a breakdown of how we found out:
I had been temping for over two years, but of course I didn’t temp this cycle (PLEASE avoid the “oh I guess that’s all you needed!” comments as a secretary at my OBGYN said). However, through process of elimination and based on secondary signs I knew about what time I ovulated. Like I have said before, 3 years of tracking my body I am well aware of where I am in my cycle without a thermometer. I had been taking pregnancy tests all week, up until this point there was nothing but negative tests. But, on April 15th I decided to take another test after school. Honestly, I have no self-control when it comes to pregnancy tests, so the quick stop to the store wasn’t unusual. I went to the store, bought two cheap tests and went home, peed on a stick around 5:45, and to my surprise there was two lines. I was skeptical, this was not a trusted brand. I had an evaporation line (false positive) after 11 months of trying, so my skepticism was strong. I took a deep breath, asked some (online) friends their thoughts on this brand, and did some research on the brand. Everything proved it was a tested brand. (I think here is where I tell you that these women have been there with me, virtually held my hand and patted my head when I needed it over the last 3 years. They know almost as much about my body as I do, so I ran to them first, actually I was being demanded by them to update them.)
At 7:15 I took a second test. And OMG TWO LINES. This time I was starting to believe this could actually be happening. I went outside to tell Doug. He was mowing the grass. I called him over to me, he told me to hold on. I waited patiently with two positive pregnancy tests in my hands. He stopped the mower and I told him that I had taken two tests and they were both positive. I told him I didn’t quite trust the brand, and that I would test in the morning with a more expensive and trustworthy test.
I went back to my friends that I had two positives, but that I wanted to test with an FRER (First Response) test. I told them I would test in the morning, then I would test at midnight, then I finally decided on 11 pm.
I went to the store and bought 4 tests. I went home and tried to distract myself with cleaning, laundry, TV, anything.
11 pm was finally here. I went and peed in a cup, dipped the test, and almost immediately there were two lines. Tears starting rolling down my face. I was shaking, I kept looking in the mirror telling myself the words I had been hoping to say for almost 3 years, “I’m pregnant”.
I ran back to Doug, showed him the test. He was shocked. He held the test and asked if it could be a false positive. I began questioning it myself. I went and dipped a second test, this time a digital. I wanted to see the word YES and not dissect the lines.
The next few weeks have been amazing. Yes, there has been some morning (and evening) sickness, some heartburn, some tenderness, and SO MUCH EXHAUSTION.
On Wednesday of this week I went to the doctor to hear that one definitive: someone was occupying my uterus!
All of that to say this: thank you to those that have supported us, read my blog posts, took the time to read the things I’ve posted online about infertility, and those that have become more sensitive to those quietly suffering.
Doug and I have been struggling for almost three years. More than a year ago I came out with our infertility to family and friends. I explained that we had Unexplained Infertility, which means that we went through the tests and we waited for the results only to hear “we can’t find a problem, everything looks good”. Many people hope to hear good news when a doctor runs some tests, but in cases like this we were looking for answers, something that was definitive and something we could fix. The statistics are that with our diagnoses, we had a 1-3% chance of conceiving naturally. These statistics crushed us and put some strain on our marriage, as it would to any couple dealing with this.
It’s been a while since I’ve given a detailed post regarding our next step. There are a few routes we could take, but financially we only had two options, and honestly only one that we could move on to if we wanted to begin now: IUI. I did some research, contacted the insurance company, and viewed the breakdowns of costs. Doug and I didn’t talk extensively about a timeline, but we were pretty sure this was our next step.
However, things have changed. It looks as if IUI/IVF is not in our immediate future. This is because on April 15th our lives changed…
We are happy to announce that we are expecting Baby Whitney in December of 2016!
After almost 3 years of wanting to say those words, it is finally the time! I started by telling you a recap of the life of infertility before the good news because I wanted to remind people that the hurting never goes away, the fact that this is coming 3 years later shouldn’t diminish our hurt and struggle. Infertility hurt and will always hurt. I wanted to be cognizant of those struggling. I wanted to be respectful to those that will see this and it will hurt their soul, it will remind them that they are unable to become pregnant. I wanted to channel how I felt each time I saw a birth announcement, got a baby shower invite, or see the day to day updates from mothers and fathers and grandparents on my Facebook. Those struggling, you are not alone and I have been there. Therefore, here is a trigger warning to the rest of the post where I discuss how we found out.
Here is a breakdown of how we found out:
I had been temping for over two years, but of course I didn’t temp this cycle (PLEASE avoid the “oh I guess that’s all you needed!” comments as a secretary at my OBGYN said). However, through process of elimination and based on secondary signs I knew about what time I ovulated. Like I have said before, 3 years of tracking my body I am well aware of where I am in my cycle without a thermometer. I had been taking pregnancy tests all week, up until this point there was nothing but negative tests. But, on April 15th I decided to take another test after school. Honestly, I have no self-control when it comes to pregnancy tests, so the quick stop to the store wasn’t unusual. I went to the store, bought two cheap tests and went home, peed on a stick around 5:45, and to my surprise there was two lines. I was skeptical, this was not a trusted brand. I had an evaporation line (false positive) after 11 months of trying, so my skepticism was strong. I took a deep breath, asked some (online) friends their thoughts on this brand, and did some research on the brand. Everything proved it was a tested brand. (I think here is where I tell you that these women have been there with me, virtually held my hand and patted my head when I needed it over the last 3 years. They know almost as much about my body as I do, so I ran to them first, actually I was being demanded by them to update them.)
At 7:15 I took a second test. And OMG TWO LINES. This time I was starting to believe this could actually be happening. I went outside to tell Doug. He was mowing the grass. I called him over to me, he told me to hold on. I waited patiently with two positive pregnancy tests in my hands. He stopped the mower and I told him that I had taken two tests and they were both positive. I told him I didn’t quite trust the brand, and that I would test in the morning with a more expensive and trustworthy test.
I went back to my friends that I had two positives, but that I wanted to test with an FRER (First Response) test. I told them I would test in the morning, then I would test at midnight, then I finally decided on 11 pm.
I went to the store and bought 4 tests. I went home and tried to distract myself with cleaning, laundry, TV, anything.
11 pm was finally here. I went and peed in a cup, dipped the test, and almost immediately there were two lines. Tears starting rolling down my face. I was shaking, I kept looking in the mirror telling myself the words I had been hoping to say for almost 3 years, “I’m pregnant”.
I ran back to Doug, showed him the test. He was shocked. He held the test and asked if it could be a false positive. I began questioning it myself. I went and dipped a second test, this time a digital. I wanted to see the word YES and not dissect the lines.
The next few weeks have been amazing. Yes, there has been some morning (and evening) sickness, some heartburn, some tenderness, and SO MUCH EXHAUSTION.
On Wednesday of this week I went to the doctor to hear that one definitive: someone was occupying my uterus!
All of that to say this: thank you to those that have supported us, read my blog posts, took the time to read the things I’ve posted online about infertility, and those that have become more sensitive to those quietly suffering.